I Hope You Kept Your Fat Pants

We all have two sets of clothes: the clothes that fit now, and the clothes that are a size too small that we intend to fit into again someday. Well, I hope you've also got some of your old "fat pants" laying around somewhere, because you're about to need them.

I usually leave the cooking to the professionals over at Where the Hell is My Spatula? but this recipe is too good to keep to myself. And here's the best part: it's embarrassingly easy. Like, your guests will be super-impressed and they'll be begging you for this recipe, TRUST, but you won't want to give it to them because it's so simple it's almost profane.

Desserts this delicious and beautiful should be harder to make! This recipe is so easy and idiot-proof it almost feels like cheating.

Get in on the secret after the jump!

5-minute cream cheese danish

I don't post too many recipes. I personally recommend Allrecipes, actually, and I rarely feel I have anything to add to the world of cuisine. But this recipe is too easy and too delicious to keep to myself.

If you have a can of crescent rolls and a package of cream cheese, you're in business.

Recipe after the jump!

choco chip cookies

These are the most bestest chocolate chip cookies known to man.

The recipe is as follows:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

3/4 c. turbinado sugar

3/4 c. brown sugar

1 c. (two sticks) butter, softened

1 egg, room temperature

2 1/4 c. unbleached flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. sea salt

12 oz. organic, semisweet chocolate chips

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Cream sugars and butter together, add egg. Add flour, soda and salt and mix until well blended. Stir in chocolate chips. Use a cookie scoop and place cookies 1 inch apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 8-10 minutes.

This probably seems like a very basic recipe, but the turbinado sugar and the organic chips make all the difference. I also prefer to mix them by hand rather than with an electric mixer; the texture is much better. Also, invest in a good cookie scoop (not much of an investment at less than $15) and your cookies will be cooked perfectly.

Enjoy!!